


[message unsent]

by Unreal_Kitty



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brothers, Canon Compliant, Gen, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon, Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:01:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25313506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unreal_Kitty/pseuds/Unreal_Kitty
Summary: In which Thor writes a long-overdue letter to the brother who would have been enough. [Post Endgame]
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	[message unsent]

Brother —

I fear I’ve gone and disappointed you. Again. 

I never really thought about it before, but I’ve always been a disappointment, haven’t it? I was supposed to be the big brother, who’d protect you from bullies and from a world that wasn’t interested in understanding you. You, with all your eccentricities. 

You’re weird, you know that? But that’s just about my favorite thing about you. That, and how utterly unapologetic you are about it. 

Yes, I'm the big brother, and it was supposed to be my job to look out for you. Yet somehow I became the bully and somehow you silently weathered the stings right under my nose. 

I don’t think I was the worst brother I could have been. I mean, I wasn’t our sister or anything. But I could have been far better than I was.

Because that was just the start, wasn’t it? You _knew_ I’d be an utter disappointment, long before me, before Father even, and he knew everything. You knew I couldn’t measure up to the responsibility of rule. You stopped my coronation over it. You stalled for time. 

Well the joke’s on you brother, because I’ve grown up and have come to realize that I’ll never grow wise. I only grow more frightened and more tired and, well, _more_. If you could see me now...well, I’m sure you’d have a dry comment or two about just how much I’ve grown. 

You’d think I’d stay svelte with all the running away I’ve been doing of late. 

It started, I think, when I ran away after I thought you’d died on Svartalfheim. Father — well, you masquerading as Father — offered me a chance to book it and chase adventures with my friends and I took it. Leave the throne behind and do what I do well. A little lightning here, a little melee there, and I’m a happy man. No need to contend with matters of philosophy. No need to play the diplomat, commander, and judge all in one. 

But of course, the fun had to end and I came home (with not a single Infinity Stone, I might add). Mission unaccomplished. I came home and you know what happened next. Death, ruin, loss. I let our home crumble to dust. I know, I know, it wasn’t Asgard, just a place, but it was our place, all the same. 

Still, I thought I could work with this, this unmoored people. I had you with me, after all. You could think your way out of trouble with nothing but a pebble and a smirk. Of course, you could think your way _into_ trouble with even less, but that’s not the point. 

The point is that I had everything I needed, until suddenly I didn’t. No Father to council me, no Mother to comfort me, no friends to have my back. If I just had you, it would have been enough. You would have been enough. But then, you were gone too. Nothing. I had nothing. 

Now, I know what you would have said. Having nothing means having nothing to lose, right? You would've rustle up some wild scheme and I would've begrudgingly go along with it. But you were gone and you said nothing. 

I know what you and our parents would have expected of me. Pick myself up and find a way through this mess. Stay for my people. The King of Asgard wears a golden crown but cannot afford the luxury of a broken heart.

If were you or Father or Mother or Heimdall, I would have managed. But I was just me. So I hid in a shed until there was fighting to be had, where Thor, Prince of Asgard could bash some heads and leave the heavy-duty thinking to others. Poor Tony. Natasha. Two more friends down for the count. 

And when the fighting was over and my people looked for me, I was nowhere to be found. Oh Loki, you’d be so very disappointed with me. I hopped on the first ship out of town and ran away again. Went off adventure-chasing, again. Our people do not need me to find another adventure. Not when Father and Mother are gone. Not when there's no Loki around to lounge on the throne like a cat —were you even _capable_ of sitting like a normal person? 

I left them. I left everyone behind. Yes, I left the Valkyrie in charge, and she’ll do fine, but the fact of the matter is I left. Because I was —am— afraid and tired and didn’t feel up to the task of building a new Asgard. I just dumped all the responsibility on her. It’s too big a job for one person, Loki. If I was going to thrust that upon her, then I damn well should have stayed to help. But I ran.

These people who I’m traveling with, this crew, they’re a ragtag bunch if I ever saw one. I fit in alright. I think you’d like them. But the thing is, they have nothing left but each other and galaxy to defend. They’re the only family they have. And I just keep thinking, I just keep hoping, that I don’t fit in as well as I think I do. I just keep wishing that they’re not the only family I’ve got left. 

I miss you, Loki. I miss you and I love you and I wrote this whole damn thing because I don’t know what else to do. I need to talk to you. 

You know, I told my rabbit friend that while you’ve died before, I believe that this time it’s for good. Please prove me wrong. I dare you to prove me wrong. 

And when you do, tell me you’re disappointed with me. Tell me I can do better. Tell me anything at all. 

Your brother,

Thor Odinson, King [Abdicated] of Asgard 

[message unsent] 

Brother —

Come now, Thor. Did you really think my plan was to wave a knife at an all-powerful titan? 

Last one to Midgard is a rotten dragon egg!

—Loki

P.S. I know you didn’t actually send your message, but I eavesdropped. Sorry (not sorry), couldn’t resist. 

PPS. Don’t be so hard on yourself, Thor. You’re going to put me out of a job. 


End file.
